BE MINE

Hello and a Happy Belated Valentine's Day!  I made these homemade Valentines for my daughter to hand out along with all the Frozen, Cars, and Spider Man Valentines in her 4 yr old preschool class.  And by homemade I mean I took these Hallmark cards with the ocean printed on them and cut them in half and then put a little heart on it.   I feel like, besides being the kid with the brain injury, she's also going to have to live this one down for a long time.  It's like no matter what they wear or how we trot our kids out, we're always going to be the family that kind of smells like garlic.  And that's what you remember them for:  a brief waft of garlic and their homemade sweaters.  Oh well.  There are worse fates.  Like handing these Valentines out with a Kahlil Gibran quote inside for four year olds.  Yes, I went there. 

Your friend is your needs answered.  (Kahlil Gibran)

I've been thinking a lot lately about what it means to have your needs answered rather than your needs met.  After all, aren't we the only ones who can really ever assure that our needs are met?  I love Gibran's word choice here, implying that our friends (or perhaps anyone for that matter) are there to answer our needs, which is at once so much more vital, dynamic and infinitely complex.  It keeps the ball in our court, without diminishing the crucial and beautiful role that others play on our journey towards fulfillment. 

But maybe that's all my new self-help talking. 

At any rate, as I am trying to re-claim, re-shape, and re-define the look and feel of a marriage that can survive the long haul, I found his whole mediation on friendship feeling new and fresh, especially when applied to the idea of  love that goes the distance.  Just to save you another keystroke, I'm including it here.  May the upcoming weeks warm you even in the midst of winter, and may spring already be at home in your heart. 

Uh-

Namaste?

On Friendship
Kahlil Gibran

Your friend is your needs answered.
He is your field which you sow with love and reap with thanksgiving.
And he is your board and your fireside.
For you come to him with your hunger, and you seek him for peace.

When your friend speaks his mind you fear not the "nay" in your own mind, nor do you withhold the "ay."
And when he is silent your heart ceases not to listen to his heart;
For without words, in friendship, all thoughts, all desires, all expectations are born and shared, with joy that is unacclaimed.
When you part from your friend, you grieve not;
For that which you love most in him may be clearer in his absence, as the mountain to the climber is clearer from the plain.
And let there be no purpose in friendship save the deepening of the spirit.
For love that seeks aught but the disclosure of its own mystery is not love but a net cast forth: and only the unprofitable is caught. 

And let your best be for your friend.
If he must know the ebb of your tide, let him know its flood also.
For what is your friend that you should seek him with hours to kill?
Seek him always with hours to live.
For it is his to fill your need, but not your emptiness.
And in the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter, and sharing of pleasures.
For in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed.