THIS CURRY WILL NOT OVERCOME ME

It's been two months, ya'll.  The end of October and November blew past me like a freight train in the middle of a North Dakota night.  Seriously.  Sometimes life can be TOO MUCH.  So I'm sharing a favorite recipe with you guys, which is rather simple in reality but took me a week to make back in late October when my idea for this post actually started.  It was one of those totally bitchy weeks where I felt slammed but needed to cook in order to keep our little boo-boo bear on her diet.  The GAPS diet, that is.  I'm not some weird pageant mom just because I'm from Alabama and call my kid boo-boo every now and again. There were many false starts, one of which actually ended in a mysterious tipping of our beloved Nordic Ware pan off the range and onto the floor, and my ensuing curse-filled clean up of olive oil, sauteed onions, and cubed chicken at 7 am.  But I didn't give up (although I did throw that particular batch in the trash) and by God, it was worth it. 

Strange pan-tipping incidents aside, this recipe is an easy version of curry that's great for such a season as this when time is the hottest commodity.  And my family wolfs it down.  And it's got peas and carrots.  Check out the original recipe on the fantastic weelicious, a cooking site started by a thin, blonde mother so perfect you'll want to strangle her except that then we'd lose access to her incredible recipes and fantastic cooking prowess, especially in regards to toddler fare.  Here is our adjusted recipe and the delayed, yet delicious, spoils of my bounty:

Ah, the success of it

 Ingredients

• 1 tablespoon olive oil
• 1 small onion, diced
• 4 garlic cloves, minced
• 1 pound chicken breasts, boneless, skinless and cubed
• 2 teaspoons curry powder
• 1 1/2 teaspoons kosher salt
• 2 tablespoons tomato paste
• 4 medium carrots, peeled and sliced into coins
• 1 14 oz can regular coconut milk
• 1  cup frozen peas (give or take)

Preparation

1. Heat 1 tbsp of olive oil in a medium pot over medium heat and sauté the onions for 4 minutes. Add the minced garlic, sauté an additional minute.
2. Add the cubed chicken, sauté for 2 minutes, stir in the curry powder, salt, tomato paste, and carrots until they are all coated.
3. Pour in the coconut milk and stir to combine. Bring to a boil, cover and reduce heat to a simmer for 10 minutes.
4. Remove lid, add the frozen peas and simmer an additional 15 minutes.
5. Eat as is, and you're cooking Paleo, baby.

Otherwise, here are a few of the highlights from the last eight weeks, which mostly consisted of day job, day job, cooking, more day job, finding a new babysitter, day job, cooking, and an occasional night of great sleep: 

-Had a blast at the opening celebration for the Billy Reid store in Austin.  Heard an amazing, low-key concert by Iron and Wine there.  Would love to have this little numero as a sweet reminder of the evening, but I guess I'll just have to wait until Billy Reid opens an outlet.  And then has a clearance sale.

-Fell in love with this album.  I'm biased, as the artist is one of my oldest and dearest, but seriously, this record kicks ass and my daughter agrees. Try it, people.  

-Got caught up in a hot affair with Martin Clunes via Doc Martin, the best television series ever made (at least this month).  I blew through all five seasons faster than I care to admit and now want to give the box set to my favorite aunt for Christmas.  Quality British television that doesn't spare the weird medical conundrums and seriously repressed love affair. And it's available for instant streaming via Netflix.  Let's give it  up for Her Royal Highness (and the BBC).  

More soon...

SUCCESS

Driving recently, I found myself in one of those deep meditative states that you can slip into when traveling a familiar road.  You know the kind:  You're driving the same route to work or school or  whatever, when suddenly you find yourself two blocks from your end goal and have only a vague recollection of actually driving there. Anyway, while doing my unintentional driving meditation the other week, I slipped into my subconscious and met an AH-HA moment head on:

I feel so f***ing unsuccessful right now.

The realization, oddly enough, felt awesome.  Like I'd just sent the last email of the day, or nailed the final question on Jeopardy (is that show still on? embarrassing).  But you get my drift.   I figured out something that felt really big:  There was too much going on for me to feel successful at any one thing.  How delightfully simple.  Now, what can I scale back on to start really kicking ass at something again?

Cue the sad face.

It won't be maternity, as my little one definitely needs me now as much as ever.  Marriage is also staying put.  Then there's the issue of my job-  last time I checked, salary and insurance were still pretty much essential.   Exercise?  Already let that one go.   Writing?  But then who would I vent to as friend dates are already at a bare minimum?

So how do you feel successful as a working mother in your mid-thirties?  Actually, how do you feel successful at all at this age?  My friends who are married with kids or on the verge often seem to feel swallowed by the complex web of relationships they juggle, many of which revolve around a deep need for said friend's time and attention.  My single friends who are still living the life and pursuing jobs they love often feel judged by outside sources because of their relationship status or choices around child bearing.  So what's a girl supposed to do?

HAPPY OCTOBER

It's finally fall in Texas and enjoying the cooler temperatures has really encouraged me to let my hair down.  And by down, I mean off.  The true essence of freedom is walking into the salon of someone you trust and having them grab their scissors to relieve you of your nine inch ponytail.  This is pretty much the way it went down last week when I walked into Mirror Mirror and the capable hands of Martha Lynn Kale, salon owner and longtime friend.  It felt freaking amazing.  For your viewing pleasure, I decided to take a snap shot of the leftovers:

The joy in this experience was the rare freedom that comes in knowing exactly what you want, and the luck of having good friends and allies to help facilitate that decision, evolution, or change.   As the world's worst salon client (since my last hair cut, Martha Lynn created, gestated, and birthed a baby and is already back at work), I know I'm lucky to have someone like her in town. She is excellent at what she does, but definitely gets that beauty is more than skin deep.  What a great reminder that taking care of yourself, even when all of your resources feel taxed, is still an efficient use of time:  The energy and pleasure I've gotten from those two hours has been endless.

What is inspiring you this month?  Here's the short list from my end:

These shoes. Joanna Goddard swears they can make anyone look French.

This movie.  The tagline: Get Pitch Slapped.  Does it get any better?

These clothes.  A girl can dream

And this book .  Maybe a bit too woo woo for some, but hey, it's where I'm at right now.

Hope you have a wonderful and inspired October.  Minus yesterday, it's shaping up to be most excellent on my end.  Ever the optimist, instead of being 1 for 2, I'm counting that as one-half of a great month so far.

TRIATHLETE(SORT OF)

A colleague talked me into doing this triathlon sometime back in June, so I spent a fair amount of time over the summer trying hard to get my ass back in shape.  The good news is that it sort of worked:  I'm definitely in much better shape than in June.  The bad news is, one of the tires on my bike totally crapped out three miles into the bike portion of the tri so I actually didn't get to finish.  This sucks, as finishing was the primary goal (not excelling, mind you).  I was able to do the bike and swim, though, and I'm hanging tight to the notion that the tire debacle may have saved me from some untimely pain or injury.  I suppose this means I'll try to stay in shape for another one at some point, which pisses me off in this ridiculous sort of way (after all, fitness is supposed to be the goal here, right?)

Adding insult to injury, the race organizers write all these numbers on your body with permanent marker, including your age by the end of the year.  So the whole week after the race, I could easily cover the race number on my arms and legs- though admittedly, there were a few situations where I did kind of show them off- but the one number that was pretty obvious no matter what I wore (remember, it's still summer in Texas) was my age which was written in big black Sharpie in a not-so-discreet location on the back of my calf.

Many of my friends and I agree that 35 is one of those scary ages. There are not that many more years that I think I'll want to run a triathlon.  I'm as close to 40 now as I am to 30.  Society at large keeps shoving the urgent need for reproduction in my face. Yet in spite of that, and in spite of my recent frustrating  foray into something I'd hoped would feel inspiring, I'm still going to keep my commitment to optimism regardless of foiled plans and my big scary age staring back at me from behind my calf.  My daughter and I discovered this Bruno Mars ditty about not giving up the other day via You Tube and at the risk of looking like a total tool for two Sesame Street references in such a short time span, I'm including it here.  Growing up is hard, after all, and if the march of time doesn't slowly free us from our inhibitions and challenge us to accomplish new things, what's the point?

GOOD HAIR DAY

One of my great pleasures over the last six months has been rediscovering Sesame Street, a show that absolutely captivates my 2 year old and gets me laughing out loud at least once an episode.  Plus it's available to stream instantly on Netflix.  Holla!

Apparently this video made the Facebook rounds a few years ago, but I'd never seen it and fell in love instantly.  It's amazing to watch the hilarious physicality of all the puppets, and this girl's confidence when she throws back her hair and belts out those high notes really makes my heart sing.  Just like her hair, I love it and I have to share...

MORE SPINACH PLEASE

I'm traveling for work this week so I spent some time on Sunday getting a bit of food prepped for my little love bug to eat while I'm gone.  Since we're still trying to follow the GAPS Diet in an effort to control her epilepsy, making sure we had the right foods stocked was an essential before leaving town.  One of the super rad residents of the AYAVA House made this spinach dish at a community dinner this spring and I watched in wonder as my child ate almost an entire plate of spinach right in front of my eyes.  Since then it's been a staple at our house, and a few weeks ago I made it as a side dish for a brunch and it went over really well.  A dear friend requested the recipe, so I'm listing the original (with a few tiny adjustments) and our GAPS modifications for any and all who may be interested.  It's a delicious way to get your greens, though I realize the pound of cheese involved may be daunting for super healthy types.  In true optimist fashion (notice I'm leaving out the skinny here), I'm choosing to ignore the calories and embrace the calcium.  Life is short.  Live well!

oh how i love spinach


SPINACH SQUARES

  Ingredients

• 4 tablespoons butter
• 3 eggs
• 1 cup all-purpose flour (our substitute:  1/2 cup almond flour and 1/2 cup coconut flour)
• 1 cup milk (our substitute: 1 cup unsweetened coconut milk)
• 1/2 teaspoon baking powder
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 1 pound shredded Cheddar cheese (we also use Gouda and/or Monterey Jack)
• 2 (10 ounce) packages frozen chopped spinach (or fresh spinach cooked just to the point of wilting)
• 1 onion
• 2 gloves garlic (we use 4 or 5)



eating spinach and cannot contain my delight

 Directions

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C).
2. Place butter or margarine in a 9x13 inch baking dish and melt butter in oven. Remove when melted.
3. In large mixing bowl, beat eggs well. Mix in flour, milk and baking powder. When the dough is well combined, mix in cheese, spinach, and onion. Add melted butter. Spoon mixture into the greased baking dish. 
4. Bake for 35 minutes or until lightly browned.

RISE TO THE SUN

Do you ever have one of those weeks where you could swear enough work, sweat, and tears have been crammed into a few days to last you the whole week?  When Tuesday feels like it should really be Friday, and your weekend plans should be up next on your agenda, rather than a big, fat Wednesday staring you down?  It's one of those weeks around here, and I can't figure out if I want to wallow in everything that isn't working out or hurry up and wish tomorrow were here so we could just get this freaking show on the road.

Since this whole blog is an experiment in optimism (hence the name), and seeing as how I really do think there's something to looking on the bright side of life, I'm taking the opportunity to share one of my bright spots over the past few months.  The Alabama Shakes were THE band to watch this year at SXSW, which kind of made me suspicious at first even though deep down I swelled with pride at these four amazing musicians from north Alabama (dreamy, nostalgic sigh) who have sent the indie rock world into a frenzy.  I had my hands full at the time, and didn't get around to checking out their spring release until this summer.  And it f------ rocks.

The lead singer Brittany is definitely hero material.  She seems so chill and down to earth and blessedly her self, despite her new status as rock goddess.  Seriously, here is a hilarious comment that one of their fans left on You Tube about the "official video" for Hold On, a signature song off their recent album:

                                this band is tough mudder TOUGH!!!! Let the Southern Rock 
                                Gods bless you with all their might!!!! praise the lord

Thank you, texasgod915.  At any rate, while drinking a beer and debating the essence of life tonight, I wanted to share these guys jamming at Seattle's fabulous KEXP.  It's absolutely one of my favorite songs and I hope you enjoy. May the sun rise on you tomorrow, and may the day warm you anew.

MAY I RECOMMEND-

If you're looking for a little fun this week and don't know what to do, or can't find a babysitter, may I humbly recommend-

Sitting on your sofa while sipping wine and watching Olympic athletes kick ass.

Seriously, I haven't had this much fun in a while.  At least not on a consistent basis.  I'm supposed to be training for this triathlon but instead I've spent multiple nights drinking with my husband on the couch, watching people who are incredibly fit work hard to achieve THEIR life goals.  Ah, the irony.

At any rate, who knew the Olympics could be so entertaining?  I don't think I watched a single event in 2008, so my excitement this year really caught me off guard.  Maybe it's becoming a mom, or becoming the mom of a kid with specific challenges, but some nights I can't keep back the tears with all of NBC's emotional side stories.  It's like one big inspiration-fest.

And then there's the humor of it all.  Here's a short list of the highlights we've witnessed in our haphazard, flip the T.V. on whenever we have time kind of way:

-Ryan Seacrest as an Olympic commentator.  WTF?  This is the man who produces the Kardashian's show.  And that makes him credentialed how?  The circus of media broadcast is

entertainment in and of itself.

-Danell Leyva's bronze medal.  He came back from a seemingly impossible situation to win the bronze, and it was fun to watch.  But even more fun was watching Danell Leyva with his Towlie.  What's a Towlie, you might ask?  Well, here's the original:

Towelie was this random character from Southpark that I know about primarily through my husband, who is a huge fan of the show.  And I have to hand it to them, as offensive as Southpark can be (and they can be offensive on an epic scale) they are still, often, funny as hell.  Towelie was this sort of imaginary friend character who popped up spontaneously and then developed a crack addiction at some point (random, but this is all I can really remember) then remained an occasional sidekick to the Southpark kids after they helped him "get clean" as it were (ironic for a Towel, right?).

So Danell Leyva has his own Towelie.  And this lucky towel has literally developed a life of it's own.  The towel has it's own Twitter account, for Lawd's sake. Watch the Olympics, people.  It rarely gets better than this.

ALPINE AND THE MARF(TX)

In late spring I had the pleasure of sharing a weekend road trip with my favorite (now retired) high school librarian.  She's a wonderful lady and a brave soul, and a many years ago she willingly chaperoned myself and eleven other high school girls on a graduation trip to the magical Cibolo Creek Ranch.

Anyway, my dear friend Ann (the librarian chaperone) remains one of my closest friends to this day, and after kicking cancer's butt last year, she decided it was time for a walk down memory lane.  Or rather, memory ranch road.  So we headed out to West Texas to see how the topography has changed.  The land, it turned out, looked much the same.  Dry, arid, expansive and beautiful in its own right.  The towns have evolved, however, and I wanted to share a few highlights.  Here is a loose look at our itinerary, and a few of our favorite stops along the way:

FRIDAY MORNING- Early departure

It was amazing to watch the day take shape as we cruised down Highway 290 through the Texas Hill Country.  Almost as amazing as the cinnamon roll we had at Mahaley's Cafe in Fredericksburg.  Seriously, I've thought about this cinnamon roll a LOT since this trip.  I would be willing to venture that it is worth the one and a half hour drive to Fredericksburg from Austin.  Fredericksburg is getting cuter, hipper, and more interesting every year.  I hope to spend a whole weekend there sometime soon.  And of course, eat many cinnamon rolls.

FRIDAY AFTERNOON- Arrive Alpine

Alpine, TX is an amazing little find.  It's neighbor, Marfa, has gotten a lot more attention lately (more on Marfa in a minute) but I have to say that I think I may just be an Alpine girl.  We stayed at The Maverick Inn which had great rooms, a killer Western decor, and a very friendly staff.  Their tag line is "A Roadhouse for Wanderers" which felt really spot on. 

The Maverick Inn

After settling in, we hit the galleries and shops downtown. One of my favorites was Ivey's Emporium. The lady behind the counter put a plate of candy together for us to sample which was delicious and so hospitable.  There are tons of things to look at in this store, so you kind of have to get psyched up, but I managed to get out with only one small retablo of St. Gabriel.  In the adjacent store next door, I loved these wool blankets from Pendleton Woolen Mills.  The whole store definitely inspired me to get my western groove on. Once the cocktail hour set in, we headed to the funky Saddle Club for drinks. They served up a delicious margarita, among other things.  By 7 pm or so, the bar had gotten extremely full but the local crowd seemed super laid back and in a great mood.  I could definitely pass a few lazy nights here and be just fine with it.

      

     The Saddle Club

After dinner at the very local La Casita, we headed back to The Maverick to get rested for the next day.

SATURDAY- More Alpine and Marfa, too

The Granada Yoga Studio

We started the day off with an UH-mazing yoga class at The Granada Yoga Studio located in the beautifully renovated building that also houses the lovely Granada Theatre.  The yoga was classic Iyengar, and the teacher (Jesse Moore Kelsch) was excellent.  I came in nursing an ankle injury, and Jesse suggested I stretch it in this particular way with a yoga strap, conceding that it would feel either awesome or awful and cautioning me to proceed with care.  It felt sort of awful at first, then very awesome, and I didn't have any problems with the ankle for the rest of the day.  Yay yoga!

Judd's 100 Works in Mill Aluminum at The Chinati Foundation

After a calm start, it was off to the races.  We headed west for a 30 minute drive to Marfa in order to hit up the abbreviated morning tour of Donald Judd's landmark sculptures at The Chinati Foundation.  I really loved Donald Judd's 100 Works in Mill Aluminum, and did find the way the work interacted with the landscape pretty breathtaking.  It struck me as especially ironic to look out of the building that houses the work and see an 18-wheeler hauling a double wide down the long street lined with trees that Judd planted himself to be in dialogue with his work. Hmmmmm. I wonder what that double wide would say to his 100 aluminum boxes?  The thought made me smile, which, to be frank, modern art rarely does.

At any rate, after finishing the walking tour at Chinati we found ourselves parched and famished, so we refreshed with an amazing burger and a beer at Padre's which totally hit the spot.  Otherwise, we had a great time poking around town and actually really loved the Presidio County Museum as well as the sweet octogenarian local who served as docent that day.  We briefly checked out both El Cosmico and the Hotel Paisano, both of which were impressive in their own right (El Cosmico a bit more rustic than I expected, and the Paisano a bit fancier).  Both very cool, though in Marfa, what else is to be expected?

We spent the afternoon visiting our old stomping grounds at Cibolo Creek Ranch and wondering how in the hell we managed to get out there at all.  It's literally about a 30 minute drive to the ranch road outside of Marfa (which, btw, feels kind of like the end of Earth anyway).  Once you turn on the ranch road, it's easily another 20 to 30 minutes down a gravel drive until you actually reach the ranch.   Bless our little librarian's heart, she did all this with 12 eighteen year old girls in her stead, years before the widespread advent of cell phones and internet (yes, I'm that old).  The woman is a complete bad ass.

A view of the historic fort at Cibolo Creek Ranch

Cibolo Creek was as dreamy as it was remote, and it was wonderful to walk down that particular stretch of memory lane together. 

A view of the ranch and surrounding terrain

After re-living the glory days, we furtively sought out a Dairy Queen (they are everywhere in rural Texas until you really NEED one) then headed back to Alpine to do some last minute shopping before changing clothes for dinner.  I had a blast checking out the lovely wares at La Junta Exchange downtown.  I went home with a pretty amazing skirt and a bright green belt for a great price.  I will definitely be back.   The icing on our cake was dinner at the famous Texas steak house Reata.  We chowed down on steak, these incredible house-made pecan biscuits with herbed butter, and Tenderloin Tamales with Pecan Mash.  There were also some Jalapeno Cheese Grits in the mix, and we washed it all down with a House Margarita.  Not exactly calorie conscious, but really freaking good.

It was an amazing trip, and I would love to do it again soon.  I'm not sure what the chances are, but it would be pretty priceless to have all twelve girls back in the saddle again, once more under the tutelage of our faithful librarian.  Some experiences are better left in the past, but I definitely think this one holds many happy trails still uncharted.

AFTERNOON DELIGHT

No, not the naughty kind.  If you haven't seen the Glee episode in which the OCD teacher Emma Pillsbury leads members of the Celibacy Club in a rendition of this 1976 classic unaware of it's "sexually suggestive wordplay" (thank you, Wikipedia), you should definitely make the effort.  I've been late on the Glee craze, and am seasons behind, but that was a particularly classic episode.

So, perhaps less exciting, yet none the less VERY satisfying, is my recent summer salad obsession:

I've been trying to find ways to take advantage of the wonderful peaches that are in season, and this has been my go-to lunch recently.  We are still exploring and trying lots of new foods on the GAPS diet which we've implemented to help in the treatment of my daughter's epilepsy, and through this experience I've re-discovered my love for blue cheese.  We've been using a brand called "Pacific Blue" from California which is cave aged and available for a bargain at Costco. Blue cheese is technically a raw food, and contains lots of nutritional properties (B-12, B-5, Zinc, Calcium, Phosphorus, Vitamin A) and the mold which makes it blue (Penicillium roqueforti) actually helps to fight harmful bacteria in the body.   And, it's freaking delicious. Toss a little oil and balsamic vinegar on those greens, peaches, and blue cheese, and I'm definitely a satisfied lady.

Southern Living really delivered a few months ago on some amazing and inspiring recipes for enjoying the peach harvest.  Here's a link to some of their scrumptious looking ideas:

                                                              Summer Peach Recipes

And for those of you for whom peaches just aren't enough, a little treat from Will Ferrell playing anchorman Ron Burgundy, with his own version of Afternoon Delight.  I love that he prefaces the song by explaining to his buds that this song is really "what love is..It's really quite simple.  It's kinda like...":

                                                              

BETTER BABY BOOK?

I wanted to offer a few quick thoughts and post to a link that I'm sharing with many of my close female friends.  Sometime this spring I read an article in Vogue magazine that peaked my interest, and I researched it more to find a link to the site of a California couple (she is an MD, he is a Nutritionist among other things) who have developed what they consider an ideal diet for conceiving, gestating, and nurturing a baby.  The article resonated with me, as we've been following the incredible GAPS diet to help control my child's epilepsy with great success.  Seriously, I am in love with this diet and wish I could send Dr. Natasha Campbell-McBride, the incredibly smart and articulate woman who developed the protocol, a giant hug via Cyberspace.

When I came across the article in Vogue it referred to many of the major ideas behind the GAPS diet.  I'm sharing it because I think it's wonderful advice, and nutritionally sound.  But I have to say, I find the book and blog title a little disconcerting, and so I offer the link with these thoughts and questions in mind:  Yes, I think nutrition is key and can enhance fertility and the health of babies.  That is awesome.  No, nutrition can not prevent everything, and as the mother of a child with a disability, I'm sort of offended by the obsession with building "better" babies.   Perhaps I'm overly sensitive, because I'm all about healthy kids, but does this mean that babies with out Downs Syndrome are "better" than babies with Downs Syndrome because of their most excellent, optimal health and genetic expression?  Does this indicate that parents of children with Cerebral Palsy, congenital abnormalities, or autism have done something to create their child's condition? And what does this say about our society in general?  I'm sure that's not what this couple intends to communicate, but there is something about the title that kind of chaps my Southern ass. If it didn't seem like they were right on the money in terms of nurturing a pre-pregnant, pregnant and post-pregnant body, I would be completely and totally annoyed.

At any rate, here's to sound nutrition and healthy mothers and children everywhere.  Besides, every mother knows her baby is the best after all!

 Without further adieu, the link:

                                               http://www.betterbabybook.com/diet/

KICK IT LIKE A CEO

I heard this interview with Xerox CEO Ursula Burns  a few weeks ago and I've been wanting to share it ever since.  It really resonated with me for many reasons, but primarily because of her articulate and insistent focus on the practical need for change and transformation in order to achieve your personal best.  Here is the specific excerpt that really got me: 

The world is changing. We all know this. And as that world changes, if you don't transform your company, you're stuck. I mean, even if you could figure out a way to be profitable and reasonably successful, I think you would be under-using your assets if you don't figure out a way to become more relevant as the world transforms and evolves. And that's a big piece of what a CEO does. 

Xerox CEO Ursula Burns

It was kind of an "aha" moment for me in relation to many aspects of my life right now.  Maybe if I started thinking more like a CEO and less like a "damn I miss rotary phones" kind of girl, I could embrace so much of what is evolving in the world and utilize it to build potential for me and those I love. If thinking like a CEO means seeing and embracing change for what it is, I'm on board.  Now if only the six digit salary would follow...

Like many others, my thirties have introduced life changes with a velocity that's left me feeling more than a little whiplashed.  Going from doing my young/single/writer/artist thing to having a husband, a day job, a house, a kid, and now a kid with special needs in the span of less than four years has, in the words of Beyonce, got me looking a little crazy right now.  Keeping it together is a freaking miracle some days.  Finding joy in it all, a mystery.

Yet we persist.  And thanks to Ursula Burns, I'm embracing.  Working with my peeps at the oh-so-awesome AYAVA House brings me so much grounding and insight every week, and this week was no exception.  As we reflected on the times in our life when we most feel the presence of God, I realized that, unbeknownst to my rigid consciousness, many of the things I engage in daily are currently bringing me the deepest sense of joy and groundedness.   I still miss having long stretches to read and write, but in the interim, I realize there are other things that I do have access to that also connect me to my deepest passion and truest self.  Having that space to reflect allowed me to see how my life is evolving, and offered me the chance to commit to evolve with it.  As Ursula Burns would say, if you don't transform your company to keep up with the changing world, you are not utilizing your assets.

Let's hear it for transformation in the face of change, and maximum productivity.

INSPIRATION

I stumbled on this video "Jacob and the Guitar Man" a few hours ago and it made my day.  Jacob is an autistic kid who is also blind, and clearly loves music.  The way he gravitated toward Tyler Gregory and his music on the streets of Lawrence, KS is powerful.  It definitely stirred something in my soul to see such clear purpose, intent, attraction, and love.  A clear reminder that sometimes having differences that some people consider "disabilities" actually allows one to be more closely connected to the things that really matter in life, and experience pleasure and joy in ways that we perhaps can only imagine.  Anyway, enough from me.  Here's the video:

Tyler Gregory

Definitely check out Tyler Gregory's response on his website.  I love the way he described his interaction with Jacob.  We need more people to testify about the mysterious exchange between people that constitutes the backbone of life.   Also, how can you not love a guy busking on the streets of Kansas, trying to sell enough CDs to buy an RV that runs off waste vegetable oil so he can tour and play more music?  Seriously, that alone is worth supporting him.  To read about his response, click here.

GOOD NIGHT, GANDHI

Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will.

                                                                                  -Mahatma Gandhi

About to call it a day after, well, a pretty dang difficult day.  I heard this quote the other night from a very unlikely source.  Let's just say it's in my Netflix queue and involves an epically naughty yet enchanting place called Wisteria Lane.  Anyway, that's neither here nor there.  It's the Gandhi quote that really matters.

Raising a child with special needs has been the adventure of a lifetime, and I'm so proud of how far our little family has come in such a short time.  Proud, but tired.  Some days just feel heavy in a way that nothing in life has really prepared me for thus far.  That's why this quote from Gandhi really resonated with me when I heard it.  It's hard but important to remember that sometimes we are called to have an indomitable will, even in the face of physical bodies that are less than perfect and can fail us.  Days when I worry, or start to feel overwhelmed, here's something else to think about from (who else?) Monsieur Gandhi:

                There is nothing that wastes the body like worry, and one who has any faith in God 
               should be ashamed to worry about anything whatsoever.

Get sassy, Gandhi.  I love that he's kind of a hard ass about this.  When I can actually feel my physical body exhausted from worry or concern over seizures, or development, or whatever particular thing might be plaguing my mind that day, I'm committing to remember Gandhi's words.  First of all, worry takes it's toll on our bodies.  Second, if we have faith in God, there is nothing for us to be worried about.

I know how totally naive this must sound to an atheist, but today it gives me a lot of comfort.  And come on, people, it's Gandhi for goodness sake.  He has to be kinda on to something.

So I'll leave you with a little hope at the close of day.  I just got this picture earlier in the week from someone who attended my child's baptism in New Orleans over Easter.  It was a magical evening, hosted by the incredible Worship Society of St. Polycarp in NOLA.  Such a welcoming bunch of people with a deep sense of celebration and investigation of their faith and its expression.  We were so honored to be part of this community for their Easter Vigil and our daughter's baptism.  It reminded me that the good in the universe really can find a way to shine through, even in the dark of night.

READER'S THEATER

Loving the home life