For some reason last week I got this sudden rush of total pregnancy overload. Like- it's f***ing 105 degrees outside and I don't want to do anything. And chasing my toddler around and putting car seats in and out of cars with my 7 month belly is turning me into a real bitch. And there's so much to do to try and downsize and re-organize before this baby comes, and I'm never happy with how our house looks in the transition. And then we had a water leak, which took four days to fix so we only had water intermittently. And then I got a zit. Then, while trying to thin out and stay cool and be productive in spite of all this, I ran across some old photos from the time of our daughter's birth and I was like-
Awwwwwwwwww. Tiny babies are the best.
Seriously, this is your brain on pregnancy hormones. What the hell?
At any rate, while sorting through those photos I found this one, taken by one of my amazing photographer friends on film while I was laboring at home with our first before heading to the hospital.
It was so surreal at the time, and I love this photo because it really captures that. You can hardly see my face, just my big old fuzzy belly and the baby inside that was steering the ship by that point and about to change my life forever. Becoming a mom really is so awesome, but such a gamechanger. I feel like this photo foreshadows in a real way the brutal reality that becoming a mother truly is an act of submission. An awesome one, and so worth it, and empowering as well, but there is a part of you that truly does recede in the shadows as life, contraction by contraction, takes over.
Another thing I find hilarious about this photo is if you look really hard, you can see in the lower right hand corner the top of my "Pregnancy for Dummies" book. That is so how I roll- "Oh crap! I think I'm in labor. Somebody look in the Pregnancy for Dummies book and explain to me how this is supposed to work out."
Three years and seven months of new gestation later, I'm still waiting for a freaking answer.
Yes and yes and yes! Motherhood. Shoo-wee. This post is spot on & you are a saint for being pregs in that heat, mama.
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