REST FOR THE SEVENTH

So I'm finally au courant with my posts, and I'm about to hit the hay.  I've had so many fantasies over the past few years about staying in bed all day.  BY MYSELF!  Sexy right? I just want a total jammy fest with lots of snoozing and lounging around with a remote. I can schedule the occasional weekend away, but why is it so hard to just give myself the gift of true rest?  And I know I'm not alone. Maybe I'll order these in an effort to a) Increase the number of my matching pajama sets by 50% (I've got two and whenever I wear them I definitely feel like I rule the world) and b) set my intention to the universe that said sloth weekend WILL happen in 2016.  Or maybe I'll just wait til after Christmas and try to snag this pair on sale.  Either way, here's wishing you lots of rest in the Advent season and in the year to come! This guy still gets enough...

If they can do it, so can we!

A SONG FOR THE SIXTH

On the seventh, but no matter.  Add this CCR gem to any holiday playlist you have going on.  A boy I loved in college put it on a mixed tape for me (yes, I'm totally that old) and it's warmed my heart ever since.  And the language and imagery is sooooooooooooooooo Advent.  Crank it up and enjoy!

FIVE IS FOR FEASTING

I love food and I love entertaining, but feeling the squeeze of work and family life, it rarely happens right now.  But I try to stoke the flame however I can, and here are a few thoughts and ideas floating through my food/family/fun hungry brain right now:

1. This article about speed cleaning before a party cracked me up, but was also so true. I definitely have employed almost all of these tips in one way or another over the years.  Dishes in the oven?  Wouldn't rule it out.

2. I've been reading MFK Fisher's The Art of Eating since last Christmas.  It's a whopper, but so lovely and I'm particularly taken with Mary Frances herself.  Here she is shopping in her fur at a market in Switzerland:

Yea, pretty much want to be her

3. I've had a strong desire to have friends over one night this holiday season to sip on a little of this while hanging by the fire.  Fingers crossed I can sit back and make the magic happen.

4.  But when there's just no energy, and a feast still feels in order, I've been totally loving this series from Netflix.

5. This wine from Trader Joe's.  We bought a case of the 2011 for my son's baptism, and I'm still enjoying it (read: RIGHT NOW!).  The blog I found it on wasn't bad either.  Someone with good taste reviewing wines under $20.  Happy early Christmas!

FOUR IS FOR FAMILY

At least that's the size of ours.  I saw this decal today as I was pulling out of our neighborhood and it cracked me up. Not sure what that says about our neighborhood, as I'm pretty sure it's supposed to be a novelty item but whatever.  Way to take it to the next level, lady! Way more interesting than the classic Baby on Board sensibility. 

Too slow to actually capture the moment, I retrieved this photo from www.babyupinthisbitch.com An important web destination to keep in your virtual rolodex.

TO BE THREE AGAIN

I'm a day behind but still committed as hell, so watch out.  Got this little gem sent to me by our amazing kid whisperer, and it made me stop and reflect on what it means to connect to your inner child.

I think of this a lot when I watch my kids and am constantly entertained.  So this is my wish for you this weekend.  Connect with your inner toddler.  This guy is still about 10 months from being three, but doesn't he look mature?  I hope you have a wonderful weekend, and it involves a lot of padding around the house pants-less while sipping fresh pressed vegetable juice (YES! THAT IS ACTUALLY WHAT IS HAPPENING HERE! REFERENCE SAID KID WHISPERER), preferably with mismatched socks that you pick out purposefully because they both just give you pleasure.  Honestly, life is too short to live otherwise.  Just think about what you want to do, what gives you joy, and for every road block your conscious throws, tell yourself over and over again that you don't give a damn while you drain that juice, baby.  Drain it!

TWO

I've spent a lot of time this last year thinking about the concept of partnership, namely, how and what I'm hoping mine will be.  I'm guessing I'm not alone in this-  in fact, I feel like as women we often spend an inordinate amount of time thinking about relationships.  I don't find it particularly bad or good, but I'm definitely fascinated as to why.  After thinking a lot about how to build a happy partnership, I've realized so often it comes down to finding and committing to my own happiness regardless of my partnership, so that if I can access that happiness, I can use it to shine light and love to all the people closest to me.  Husband included!  A commitment to my own happiness doesn't quite simplify everything, but I've realized it's a good place to start.  At least it's the part of my marriage that I have some control over, and that is a relief to remember when lines get blurred after years together with lots of highs and lows.

It's been almost ten years exactly since I laid eyes on my husband, and my what a ride it has been.  Together we've weathered incarceration, deportation, exile, cancer, the birth of two children, one with special needs, and perhaps most importantly, the cost of child care in America.  Seriously!  That sh** is so stressful right now.  Like Obama-mentioned-it-in-the-State-of-the-
Union sort of stressful.  Anyway, a digression, but one I like to name just to keep it in the public dialogue (public meaning me and my friends who will read this). At any rate, here are a few things that are on my mind about it right now.

• The urge to remodel.  Not your house, necessarily, but your marriage.  I read this article at one point this year about the process of differentiation that couples go through as their relationship spans a longer period of time.  After reading it, I felt a real sense of context for what it can mean for a partnership to progress.  Changing how you relate to each other and your selves will obviously evolve with time, and with that, so will your relationship.  It's natural, it's okay, and honestly, it's probably pretty good!

• Building a community of love. Along the same lines, I recently read this piece which is a record of an interview between bell hooks and Thich Nhat Hanh.  In their conversation, bell hooks references a concept that Thich Nhat Hanh and Daniel Berrigan describe in a book they co-wrote called The Raft Is Not the Shore.  She infers that when working with ideas and concepts, often "the bridge of illusion must be shattered in order for a real bridge to be constructed."  This is similar to the idea of differentiation. I love in this article how they name the fact that sometimes bridges we've had or thought existed must be shattered before we can really work on building something new.  And in this article, they extend this to any community of love we desire to build or participate in or with, pushing the idea beyond intimate partnership to any circle of people with whom we hope to build healthy relationships and community.

• Celebrating what's right and identifying concerns. This book, which I swear is the only book about marriage and relationships that has, in my opinion, ever been worth a damn.  And I've read a lot of them! It's also come recommended to me from multiple professional sources that I respect, and whenever I'm feeling overwhelmed by the endless adventure that is marriage, I find myself turning back to it again and again.  The basic ideas are insightful, and it always sheds the light of clarity on things that are going well in my marriage that may not be at the forefront of my perceptions, and also the things that merit real concern. 

So if you have a two who is part of you,, or that's something you imagine in your future near or far,  I hope you'll find much peace in harmony in relationships both this year and in many years to come. 

This is actually from our wedding!  It was fun to look back and pull both of these because they are all so freaking good.  Again, never underestimate the important blessing of wonderful and talented friends.  Maybe that's my Advent theme?               Thank you Hatnim Lee!

BEHOLD, THE FIRST

Hello friends, Romans, Adventians!  I suppose that Advent started officially for most religious folks on Sunday, but in our German-American household, we rang it in today.  My husband developed this nifty system for our refrigerator when we realized our old traditional Advent calendar is missing: 

 It was pretty sweet to see him get so engaged with something, so I'll go ahead and assume Advent must have been a big deal in his house.  In my house we were like, could you throw more colored lights and tencil on our fake tree?  And while you're at it, bend that pipe cleaner branch a little to the left.  I can't see Grandma's crocheted angel with the shiny beads sewn in from the this angle.  Now pass the funnel cake.

Seriously, though,  I'm trying to embrace this tradition for so many reasons.  One being that it's my last shot to cram all my resolutions into a short period of time before year's end.  So all I have to do this month is reconstruct my marriage, write a play, try to teach my speech delayed daughter how to communicate miraculously through a handheld device, potty train both my kids, and work out daily.  Oh!  And write, like, 20 blog posts.

Does anyone else feel like this at year's end?  And on top of all that, it's the middle of winter and that tiny window of time between our two American holidays when I want to do exactly zero. So right when I should be driving it all home (or cramming it all in or however you want to say it), all I really want to do is hang out with people, drink wine, watch telly, and go to bed early every other night.