GRIEF

Hatnim Lee snapped this picture on a foggy Tennessee night during her trip to my wedding in January 2009.  I love it the way I love most of her photographs, but this one strikes a chord right now as an excellent representation of how the world looked recently as I tried to find my way through a difficult time. 

There were some beautiful moments over the holiday season this year, but much of the time was colored by the pallor of fresh grief.  One of my oldest and dearest friends, someone I considered one of my best of the best, died in her sleep the weekend of December 15th.  It was a huge shock to those of us (who are many) that loved her and relied on her strength, wit, and compassion as a source of deep joy and encouragement in our lives.  I know that I am one of many people trying to understand how life is supposed to work with her, or at least be as good and fulfilling as before.

My friend is the third in a series of very wonderful, very young people to meet an early and nearly unexplainable death in my broader circle of acquaintances over the last six month.  So I’ve been thinking about grief a lot since the summer, and the heaviness of how long and arduous a process grieving can be was clear to me over the holidays as I sat with parents, friends and family members of the recently departed and we all tried to do the best we can to remember and reflect on the lives of those we love with honesty, integrity, truth, and grace.